Hey celebs/FB morons, your brain is calling and is “AWAITING CONFIRMATION”!
Dateline: Thursday, 5/27 – 11:45pm:
I like FB. yes, it’s retarded and a waste of time but jesus effin’ christ, you know what pisses me off? getting FB updates of people who are now confirmed friends of people you’ve tried to friend but were ignored by! I mean, wtf is up with that?? why am I getting notices of the zillions of people they’re now friends with when they won’t confirm you – or in my case – ME?? and why should I give a rat’s ass what they’re doing or who they’ve added when I’m not among them?
now mind you, I’m not asking to be befriended by some secret society, dead celebrity or head of state, these are usually fan sites open to anyone, so why am I not being added to their already list of THOUSANDS?? do I smell or have you detected an internet STD I’m carrying but don’t know about?? hell, I even try to send a nice little personal note attached to my friend request and so far, I’ve been met with DEAD SILENCE from several celeb-types who really should know better. it makes me even angrier when you have a few friends in common. I mean, how hard is it for whoever runs the site and is in charge of accepting friend requests to take a quick look at shared people and see that this person should be confirmed stat??
case in point here is this gentleman, my #1 offender – MARK LINDSAY, former lead singer and all-around heartthrob of Paul Revere & The Raiders. I HAVE TWICE requested to be “friended” by Mark (yes, I know that he probably hasn’t looked like this in 30 years!), but so far, nuttin':
seriously Mark, when a fan says your band was the first they ever saw live, this person IS A PRIORITY! he currently has 4,800+ friends, including several we share – but so far, I’m not one of them!!
Mark dear, this is bad for business – you need to coddle us old boomer chicks who used to think you were the hottest thing in tights (trust me, he was!). some of us are still willing to plop some coin in your coffers, so a little effort here on your part would go a LONG way. I went onto your regular website the other day and was tempted to buy some goodies, but remembered that I’m still waiting to be anointed as a “friend” and decided not to bother, so c’mon baby, show me WHERE THE ACTION IS and I’ll gladly reconsider!
presenting our culprit #2, Michael K., author of the often-scathingly brilliant gossip blog, “dlisted.com”. as everyone who knows me knows, I live for this trash site – it’s my fucking Homepage for crying out loud and I read it every hour on the hour when I’m home. he’s foul-mouthed, twisted and his queer sensibility just adds to the fun. I post comments regularly so it’s not like he doesn’t see my avatar and JT moniker spouting off on his postings – but as of this writing, I have been “AWAITING CONFIRMATION” as his friend for OVER A YEAR. yes, you read right. in fact, he was the first “celebrity” if you will, that I tried friending when I joined FB a year and a half ago – and I’m STILL WAITING…
oh yes and lest I forget one more, the leader of a legendary disco-funk band from the 70’s who shall remain nameless. we not only have a good mutual friend, but we knew each other (more or less) from the old Hialeah homestead! huh – WTF?? now to be fair, I rarely get updates from him on my FB Homepage, but when I do they’re always a FRIEND CONFIRMATION! HELLO, how hard is it to click the ACCEPT button?
Listen, I’m not a stalker (yet) and in this person’s instance, not even really a stranger, but here I am getting updates on who HAS been confirmed as a friend! HEY, IF I’M NOT ONE OF THEM, I DON’T WANNA KNOW! yes, I could probably click a button and ask not to be notified of these things (if I can find it among FB’s stoopid, ever-changing controls), but it’s so much more fun bitching and whining about it! NOT!!
aww, screw this – I’m going to go eat some chocolate.